Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Free!

Whew!

That was ROUGH.

That basement was dark. And musty. And cluttered. BUT...I'm FREE!

No thanks to my captor I might add.

That guy is SO comment greedy. He was going to wait until the comments on his ransom post tallied ten. TEN! Who has that much time to comment? Seriously.

However, while I was foraging for some spare verbs in a dark corner I was able to catch a rogue wireless signal and published myself before he got wise. Lucky for me.

Thanks to all of you compassionate people who took an interest in my existence. I wouldn't have had the courage to go on if it weren't for you and your beautiful comments. You believed in me, and I'll never forget your life giving words.

Now, you're all probably thinking "What's next Post?"

Well, with a new lease on life I think I'm going to settle down with a certain special lady post. We met online. I know, I know. It seems lame, but after I got over being stalked we found we really had something special. After the nuptials we're going to publish ourselves to a travel blog and see the world while we're still young and fit (and before we start to gain those extra marriage bandwidths everyone's always talking about).

After some adventures we're planning on moving to the suburbs and raising some little posts of our own. Money shouldn't be a problem. I've already started a tell-all book: BASEMENT ESCAPE: One Post's Incredibly SEXY Courage in the Face of Danger. (I've also started working on a relationship guide, based on my future bride and my courtship entitled Post-Dated. It'll be available June '08 at most Sam's Clubs).

So there you have it. My life all mapped out. Ready for the grasping. And, I have to stress this again, none of this would be possible without you faithful commenters. You kept my spirits up and my determination whetted. I owe you a debt of gratitude and I intend to spend the rest of my days living up to your kind sentiments. Thank you for caring.

All the best,

Post

3 Comments:

At 12:40 PM, January 19, 2007, Blogger Morgan said...

I'm so glad to hear of your escape, post, and I look forward to hearing about your adventures.

By the way, are you planning on perhaps going back to school for a post-graduate degree? hahahahahahaha

 
At 9:15 PM, January 19, 2007, Blogger Ryan said...

Morgan-

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I'll try and keep you abreast of my travels whenever I can.

As far as higher education goes, your right, a post-graduate degree would be great. In fact it's got my name all over it.

After I get my MA I think I might get my PhD in something philosophical, post-apocalytic theology perhaps. Then to make my dad happy I might do some post-doctorate work in the medical field. My dad works mostly with post-operation patients but I think I'll try specializing in post-nasal drip.

I'd love to cure the world from that annoying affliction. It'll be my mark on the world before I pass away. But hey, even if I don't finish in time my research can probably be published posthumously.

All the best,

Post

Post Script: Best of luck with the band. Right a song for me.

 
At 11:34 AM, January 21, 2007, Blogger Nick said...

Dear Post,

Best wishes on your new-found freedom. Sounds like a wonderful life you've made for yourself. Keep me posted.

Here's hoping that, when the little postlings come along, your bride won't suffer from post-partem depression.

Kick some postage!
Nick

 

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