Winter Weather and the Hazardous, Harrowing and Heroic History of Ice Cream in the Midwest.

So this is what happens when I start out to write a straight forward blog post about the weather.

I've denoted the place where my brain derailed.

In Columbus today there is a Winter Storm Watch going on. When we woke up this morning there was a thick layer of new fallen snow and if the weather reports prove to be true there are more layers to follow. Not surprisingly Jeni's Ice Cream is closed today. I just can't imagine anyone braving the elements and slippery roads just to purchase something cold.

************DERAILED**********

Ah, the perils of the frozen confection industry in the Midwest! I could tell you stories. Why when I was your age the blizzard of '38 nearly ended the Banana Split, the Chocolate Malt and many other icy delicacies across most of Ohio, Indiana and parts of Pennsylvania. There was wide spread panic as people ignored Popsicles, Italian Ice and even Gelato. In fact some towns experienced near riots as frozen treats of all kinds were met with forceful apathy.

The ambivalent assault on chilled comestibles showed no discrimination. People from small towns and big cities alike aggressively sought out hot chocolate, coffee and teas with callous indifference. With hearts as cold as the swirling wind they ignored the the cries of thousands of victimized scoops and cones. In the end, after mother nature called off her atomic vendetta of frost the entire Midwest was a scarred battle ground compared to its former deliciousness.

However hope was not lost. Vanilla, one of the few wounded survivors took up the cause and rallied the few remaining remnants of his dessicated brethren. Theirs was an uphill battle but signs of new life slowly emerged. This restoration knew no flavor boundaries as Strawberry, Lemon, Chocolate and Vanilla worked side by side to rebuild. And to the delight and inspiration of the nation rebuild they did.

Now known to frozen treat historians as the "Rebirth of Cool" this time of struggle and eventual triumph serves as stirring landmark for every American who now holds a gelato spoon with ease, joyfully enters the frigid embrace of a Slurpee or enjoys the cone of their choice with absolute freedom.

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What the heck is that?! Seriously. Sometimes I feel bad for my future kids. (How was your day dad? Well son it all started out normally enough...)